Portal of Hunab Ku ~ ©Andrew Annenberg
You know what you want and need.
Put yourself first.
You can't be anything for anybody else
unless you take care of yourself.
Let your feelings be known.
They are important.
Express your opinions.
It's good to hear yourself talk.
Value your thinking.
You do it well.
If you don't value it, no one else will.
Dolphin Isle ~ ©Andrew Annenberg
Take the time and space you need,
even if other people are wanting something from you.
When you need something, don't talk yourself out of it.
Even if you can't have it, it's okay to need.
When you are scared, let someone know.
Isolating yourself when
you're scared makes it worse.
When you feel like running away,
let yourself feel the scare.
Think about what you fear will happen,
and decide what you need to do.
When you are angry,
let yourself feel the anger.
Decide what you want to do:
just feel it, express it, or take some action.
When you are sad,
think about what would be comforting.
When you are hurt,
tell the person who hurt you.
Keeping it inside makes it grow.
When you have work to do
and you don't want to do it,
decide what really needs to be done
and what can wait.
When you want something
from someone else, ask.
You'll be okay if they say no.
Asking is being true to yourself.
Egyptian Enigma ~ ©Andrew Annenberg
When you need help, ask.
Trust people to say no
if they don't want to give.
When people turn you down,
it usually has to do with them,
and not with you.
Ask someone else for what you need.
When you feel alone, know there are
people who want to be with you.
Fantasize what it would be like
to be with each of them.
Decide if you want to make that happen.
When you feel anxious, let yourself know that
in your head you have moved into the future
to something scary.
Your body has gotten up the energy for it.
Come back to the present.
Aquarium at Makena ~ ©Andrew Annenberg
When you want to say something
loving to someone, go ahead.
Expressing your feelings
is not a commitment.
When someone yells at you,
physically support yourself
by relaxing into your chair or
putting your feet firmly on the floor.
Remember to breathe.
Listen for the message
they are trying to get across to you.
When you are harrassing yourself, stop.
You do it when you need something.
Figure out what you need, and get it.
When everything seems wrong,
you are overwhelmed and need some comforting.
Ask for it.
Afterwards, you can think about
what you need to do.
Temple of Aphrodite ~ ©Andrew Annenberg
When you want to talk to someone new
and are scared, breathe.
Don't start rehearsing, just plunge in.
If it doesn't go well, you can stop.
If you are doing something
you don't want to do,
such as smoking or overeating, STOP.
Think about what you really want.
If you are stuck and can't think clearly,
talk out loud to someone.
When you can't think straight,
When you are in need of love, reach out.
There are people who love you.
When you are confused,
it is usually because you
think you should do one thing,
but you want to do another.
Dialogue with yourself,
or present both sides to a friend.
When you feel harried, slow down.
Deliberately slow your breathing,
and your movements.
When you have tears, cry.
When you feel like crying
and it's not a safe place to cry,
acknowledge your pain
and promise yourself a good cry later.
Keep your promise.
When everything seems gray,
look for color.
If one of these rules seems wrong for you,
talk about it with someone.
Then, rewrite it so it fits you.
Swim Back Home
Be Good To Yourself!